In Name of The Season

In the name of "The Season", I've let myself take a break.

Not the typical "Amber" kind of break when I create mountains of projects for myself to tackle. But a real person kind of break. I've been sitting around watching The Real Housewives of New York, teaching myself to cook, enjoying as many social outings as I please, staying up well past my usual 9:30 bedtime, aimlessly browsing the internet for some great sale or vacation plans to jump out at me and taking many long wonderful nappy noodles!

I'm starting to feel something coming though. I've got quite a few things cookin' for 2011, but a few things have to fall into place before I can share my plans with the world. A few people know bits and pieces, but the grande plans are still a little gray.

In keeping with the fact that this is my blog about my new adventures in life... I wanted to have a few words with myself. Perhaps it works more along the lines of.. if I lay out my guidelines for the world to read, then I'm somehow become even more committed than I already am? I know this sounds kinda weird, but I think thats partially how I stay strong.

---->Insert random, but pertinent side bar. My sister and I were in the car today and I told her I kinda had plans tonight. But not real plans, just the kind where two people will possibly hangout. These plans were discussed a week ago, but not really ever confirmed. Okay, so its about 5:30, I look like a hot mess and have not contacted the person as to which I may or may not have plans with. Honestly, I just don't feel like being a part of the real world today. It was a day full of sewing, The Housewives, leftovers from last nights' great meal and a 3 hour nap. So I was planning on bailing out anyways.. That's right, my life is tough these days. Okay so back to the point of this side bar. As I'm telling my sister about these half hearted plans, she some how magically morphs into my dad from when I was in highschool. "No, you will not be going to see this person. If they havn't contacted you by now then they are not our kind of people." Me-"But Amy, these weren't real plans, not like a date, just like we might hang out." Amy-"No. If you hangout long enough you might like this person and I can tell already if they haven't called then you don't need to be hanging out." Okay seriously, on what planet is my sister from? I'll tell you.. The planet of the Sollock's. Where we were not allowed to do anything that was not properly planned by Wednesday for the following weekend. Me-" Amy, I'm just interested in hanging out and being entertained. Nothing more." Amy-"We can hang out,  but you don't need to be hanging out with this person." Ok, so perhaps this sisterly saga seems slightly blown out of proportion.. of which yes, my sister has the nack for doing so. But the truth is, she’s My Person these days. She knows my plans/wants/needs and has promised to be loud and clear this time around with her opinions. So the pertinence to this story is, when someone else knows what you want- They are likely to keep you in check even when you may not see what’s really going on. <-------- End Side Bar.

2 days have gone by. Its now Wednesday night.

So, in the name of the season I've taken a break. Its been Greeeat!
Truly a time to sit back and focus on what and where I R-E-A-L-L-Y WANT to be and be doing in my life. I've always had this checklist in life. It went, design and make my own pink fluffy prom dress, get degree in architecture, live in NYC, build and decorate beautiful house, own my own residential design/ build empire, marry a wonderful man and raise 2 or 4 curly haired babies. Ok. So check, check, check and check. That’s four checks. And I'm left at own my own residential design and construction empire. I always envisioned getting married and starting my company in my early 30's. So what the heck am I suppose to do in my 20s?

It seems to me, the 20s are a decade that our generation is the first to navigate in a different way than all of those before us. For the most part, our parents and grandparents either went to college, joined the service or immediately started working after high school. That took them to about the age of 22 or 23 at which time they married and immediately started having children. Now I know this still happens for a lot of people. But there’s an ever expanding population that believes 30 is the new 20. I happen to be apart of that generation. Ok, so if 30 is the new 20- and me and all most of my friends aren't married and making babies- then what are we suppose to be doing with all these years? I've lived a lot in these past few years, but I'm just not so into the crazy club scene anymore. I still thoroughly enjoy an adult beverage or 4, but there’s no lying... I'm certainly not 21 years old anymore. I will most definitely be paying the price of drinking the next day. So, while I do have my fair share of fun- its just not my biggest objective in life.

And well, you've already kinda gotten the previous job and current career situation... So what's a 26 year old girl to do? Just get a new job, work everyday, wait anxiously for the weekend, wait patiently for the man of my dreams- bla bla bla.. Are you seeing the picture here? How much "fun" can you have before you can say you've checked that box? DONT get me wrong, I think I'm plenty of fun and fully believe laughing and having fun is one of life’s keys to success. But why should I spend these years of my life working, "waiting" and drinking too much?

So I choose to do things differently. I choose to take a chance and try to push my dream job forward a few years. I choose to put myself in a position to go out and see some of the world. I choose to focus on and grow my own spiritual beliefs. No longer just say that's what I believe just because of whatever people say, but to really dig deep and develop a real foundation of which to build my future on. I choose to push myself to try new things in life and enjoy those of which I know I love.

Ya ya ya. This may seem lofty, but can honestly say.. I can't think of too many people I know that are willing to put themselves out there like I'm committed to doing. Most just focus on the grind of their job. The thrill of the weekend. The angst of waiting for The One to come along. Seeking that promotion. Going to grad school. Saving for their next big buy. Bla. Bla. Bla. I'm over it all.

I'm moving forward in bigger ways than I ever imagined myself doing. During the years in my life that I didn't know what I was suppose to be doing with... Well, I'm just carving out a new direction for myself.

Insert 12/23/10 12:08 Central- I signed on to FB and saw this posted on my my news feed.. too perfect! It look like I'll have some new reading to do as I wrap up my "break" http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132214529/three-books-to-quell-your-quarter-life-crisis