Let’s play limbo!
Oh the game of limbo. You know, the one where you shimmy under stick while it gets lower and lower... until- well, you just can’t go any lower and you knock the stick off.
I feel like this describes my life perfectly.
I’ve got so much running through my little head that I that I know at some point I’m going to knock my stick over. So what’s a girl to do? Do you keep on playing the game and keep going lower until you knock the stick off … or do you hang back out knowing that your body just doesn’t bend that way and you’re liable to pull a hamstring?
For instance, the second house I bought/ fixed up. I’ve had it on the market for two months now and have continually dropped the price. I thought I had it pretty close to sold at one point, only to have the deal fall through. But since then- nada. Plenty of lookers, tons of oohs and ahhs.. but no offers. I honestly can say, I hate this part of the game. Fixing up a property, being covered in paint and hanging off the side of the roof, yup. That’s where I’d rather be. I even enjoy real estate when it’s not my money on the line.. But having my personal money sunk into this house and having my summer plans at the mercy of the winds is driving me crazy. I’ve said all along I’m very glad I was able to do this house and it’s definitely something I’m proud of. But at this point, I’d rather have my money safely back in the bank, my bags packed and headed to Europe . I suppose this is a lesson in patience. Plus, there’s nothing I can really do about it other than wait for the right buyer.. I mean besides practically giving the house away. Of which, I do have a few Plan B’s in the works, but it’s just not quite the right time to share those with the world.
So besides this whole house debacle.. which is really is just a side game to that actual full blown show thats playing out in life right now. Such as.. what the heck am I going to do with my life?!? I have to remind myself approximately 1374 times a day, that I’m on the “no plan Plan” and that I’ll know the right thing to do when the time comes. This is way of thinking and actually trying to stick it goes against every grain of my being. It in no way is natural for me to just ride the waves of life. One might choose to say its my control issues manifesting themselves through the need to control every aspect of my life. And well, I thought I was doing okay.. until well. You know.
I think it’s an important lesson though, that perhaps I’m allowing myself to be taught. That is, that you truly are not in control of very much at all in life. You can be a great person, you can work hard, be faithful, be honest and kind, you can try to navigate life as you see fit. But in the end, there’s already a plan for your life that will force its way through all the other stuff you try to fill it with. Its my personal belief that your life has a meaning and a path its meant to fulfill. And even if you make decisions that lead you off course, you’ll be pulled back to where you were meant to be.
I have a dear friend that has always been the absolute best sounding board. And a number of weeks back she said this “I just can’t allow myself to believe I have that much power to screw up my own life that badly. It would just freak me out and overwhelm me if I believed that.” I’ve thought about her statement a lot since then. I think it resonates with me so much because there have been a lot of regrets festering these last few months. And being able to think about your life in terms of not being able to screw it up too badly.. well I guess that even gives the 26 and divorced hope!
So the game of limbo for me continues. And as far as sitting this round out... Heck no. I might very well come limping in with a pulled hamstring or completely unable to walk. But I figure as long as I can at least crawl, you’ve got no other choice than to keep on going. ( End cheesy analogy for today’s post )
Ps. I have a photo blog I’m working on. Believe it or not, I do actually get out and do things besides sit alone in my house and ponder where my life is heading J So I’m going to prove it with some photos from this past week.
Pps. It looks like I am making an impromptu road trip to Florida
