Its been awhile.

Its been awhile. ... and even worse I wrote this post on 3/10, I was just hoping I'd find the time to update my background before posting... I guess I'll get to that later:/

Excuses-à Well first of I’ll say hello my few fellow readers! I know its been over two months since my last post, but I did not mean for it to last that long. You see, my computer went on the fritz and I have been down and out of commission for nearly two months. Good ol’ faithful fired right up, but unfortunately she was just too old to handle blogging apparently. Every time I would try to navigate the blogging world it would freeze and give me an error message. So that’s that. Its been two months and I’ve got some catching up to do. ß

I guess there is a lot still the same. In the sense that I am still officially an unemployed citizen… and no, I’m not sitting around milking the system. I quit my job, so there are no unemployment benefits coming my way paying for the extended vacation I’m taking.. I’m just milking the money tree in my back yardJ Also known as my savings account. But in more recent days, I started substitute teaching. Which I will have to save my thoughts on our public school system for another post, but let’s just summarize with “disgusted”.  I’ve also been working on a few small design jobs. I also trained for and ran my 1^st 10K! And add in attending my nieces parties at preschool, trying to sell a few houses, attending Trivia Nights and outings with friends.. I am one very busy unemployed girl! Seriously, there are times I even surprise myself with how busy I manage to stay. Now, don’t let me get carried away. I do sleep plenty of days till 10 or 10:30, stay up until 1 or 2 just because my internal clock is off, occasionally forget what day of the week it is, have now watched the entire season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and well.. frankly hold out to do my shopping during the hours that are typically reserved for the retired and housewives.  But o-h what a pleasant shopping experience it is! I even find myself enjoying the grocery store and running errands. Ok, yes. Feel free to judge me.. I mean judge myself, but I certainly make no apologies for it. I can’t think of a better remedy for healing, both physically and emotionally, than just being able to check out of reality and allowing yourself some time to simply rest. It’s been truly a God given gift to me to be able to do this.

At some point along the way, I remembered what it felt like to be me again. I may be daring to put a time frame to it, but I would venture to say I have not felt like me for eh.. three years? In reference to my job, I can remember trying to explain myself as, “I moved here so strong, excited and passionate, but  felt like a wilting flower who was no longer getting the water needed to survive.” Cheesy? Yeah. But True? Yup. What I failed to realize or perhaps failed to admit was that the same simile applied to my personal life as well. Anyways… I just feel like I should put some perspective as to why I continue to skip down my current path, while many people think I’m just crazy or can’t understand what happened to the Amber they knew.

So on that note, one might ask. Well what’s next? What are your thoughts on 2011? Well… I’m not looking for full time employment because I don’t plan to be here to be employed. My big plan for 2011 is to spend a few months in Europe! I’m holding out and waiting for the summer season to roll around. But more importantly, I’m waiting for the second property I bought in October to sell. I’m just the main force trying to get it sold and can’t imagine leaving such an investment behind to just sit while I skip across the globe. But yeah… E-u-r-o-p-e HERE I COME! The great part is my trip is 110% completely flexible. I’m flying on a buddy pass and then I’m doing a hop-on hop-off bus tour. So the way it works is the bus makes 33 stops in 9 countries, basically all of western Europe. It stops at each location every other day. So you are free to stay in each location as long as you please and when you’re done- Just hop on the next bus to the next stop. It seems like a really great fit for me, being that I’ll be traveling alone and would definitely be the girl who ends up arriving in some strange city at midnight, unable to speak the language and would have forgotten to book a hotel. Yes, while I may be type-A about many things in my life.. I am a total free and careless spirit when it comes to traveling.  Also, another great plus with the bus tour is that you are likely to meet lots of “like minded travelers” along the way. They have an age range of like 18 to 35 or something like that, so you’re going to be in a group of people that you’re more likely to click with. So if you meet some people along the way, you can hang out with them for a few days/or weeks and when you’re done, you can carry about your trip at your own pace. I think it sounds thrilling and exciting to be able to meet people and travel in that capacity. And my thoughts and motives are this: I never in my wildest dream imagined I would have this window in my life of being single, uncommitted, financially capable and brave enough to seize the day. So I’m going to. More like, I have to take it by the horns and make the absolute most of every bit of it. I have the next 30+ years to work and make money. So why would I wait until retirement to be able to spend a few months abroad? So.. I’m doing it! Crazy-- Maybe? Thrilling—definitely!

My main objective during my traveling is A) The obvious: to enjoy the sites, food and architecture. But B) I want to experience the life of people in other cultures and put some fresh new perspective on my own life. I want to spend those last few months of my time off in reflection of the past and in preparation for the future. Be able to pull away from all the influences that surround me in my own slice of the world and be able to think clearly about what I want to be doing and where I want to be. I’ve been able to think and explore these ideas a lot over the past few months, but I think having time away from my own surroundings and spheres of influence will really allow me to fit the final pieces of this puzzle I’ve been working on.

I don’t know if anyone can truly grasp the culmination of my life last year. Life literally kick me off my rocker and shattered into a million pieces right before my eyes. So I’ve sulked, I’ve mourned, I’m recovering, I’m moving on… and all piece by piece. Day by day, I stitch back together the remnants of who I thought I was and who I have become. So here’s to the pieces of the puzzle being put back together. And here’s to Europe.  Cheers!