From the World's Worst Blogger!!

I promise I am alive! I wrote a few more entries after London, but they were just soooo long and I fell off the posting wagon. Not to mention the unimaginable challenge it is to actually get internet throughout Europe. I mean there are smart phones, internet cafes etc... but most of the time even uploading a photo is a challenge- You can forget about blogging.

Anyhoo, I promise I will post some more about my trip over the next few weeks (for those of you who choose to endure the pain of my novels). But I'll say this, it was the trip of a lifetime. There aren't too many windows in life where you can just walk away from your life for months at a time and go explore the world. So thank you life, I am beyond grateful for the lemons you provided me and giving me the opportunity to make lemonade:)

In the mean time, I wanted to share the project I've been working on. Instead of going back to my corporate America architecture/ general contractor career, I am carrying on with my ambition to soar in life. Its a risk- but I am officially launching Greyson Residential. It's a dream I conceived in high school, while working for my father's custom home building company. While everyone else was out at football games, this super cool chic was writing and competing with her business plan in a club called DECA:) The vision was to extend the capabilities of a builder and bring in the ability to design, buy and sell- Culminating in the ultimate residential One-Stop-Shop! Having already gained experience in designing and building, the final piece of the puzzle for me was to add my real estate license. With all the pieces in place, I'm officially launching Greyson Residential! I've been hard at work for weeks now getting all my ducks in a row... and boy oh boy, I wish with all my heart I had signed up for a few more business classes in college. But thankfully I have great friends and mentors who all have their own expertise and are more than willing to share! Since what I thought was going to be a two week process has since turned into four, I wanted to put together a quick lil' something to offer a glimpse of what I've been working on.

Enjoy! And remember, if you have anyone that will be looking to buy, sell, design or remodel in the near future- keep your friend Amber in mind!

http://www.kizoa.com/slideshow/d1920317k2732587o1/greyson-residential

Catching Up and London

Hi friends! Well wowzers. Where do I even begin?! It’s been a crazy, blessed and adventurous few weeks for me so far. I’ll back track a little and try to catch up those of you who I don’t talk to regularly on the phone!

            Ok first of all. The house I bought 3 ½ years ago, remodeled and was living in. Yup, it sold. It went crazy fast and was the perfect deal as far as timing, price, new owners, etc. So Heeeay.. Money came a talkin’ and I went a walkin’. Well. Two doors down that is. At that time I didn’t have a buyer for the house I had recently purchased and remodeled. So, I literally just went and picked up some helpers and walked my stuff two doors down. There was one small clitch though… Its funny how things work out sometimes. On the very same day I received the contract to purchase my house, I also received a contract to rent it out for the summer… all within 6 hours of each other. Talk about walking the tight rope. But thank my lucky stars, the renters were more than happy to take the other house down the street! And plus, I couldn’t have found better renters. They are Americans, currently living in Germany. So they’re just home for the summer and wanted to stay close to family in the area.. So thank you baby Jesus- I just can’t help but believe this story line has to be straight from God’s making. So I moved, found the perfect renters for a 3 month term and then as luck would have it.. I got a contract on the other house. No joke. Three days after moving into the house, I had a full price contract on the table. It would be safe to say at that point, my little head was just a spinnin’ like top! Okay, so after a week of dealing with adjusting the closing date until I got back in August, dealing with the inspection hoopla they needed for their loan to be approved, unpacking the house I just moved into, because don’t forget I had renters coming that Sunday, and don’t forget I was leaving for Europe that Next Tuesday for.Three.Months, and then the icing on the cake hit… I took a major financial blow in dealing with Bank of America. In short, the house was going into foreclosure before I got it. Basically, once a house starts going into foreclosure, apparently the bank can just charge open endedly to that account for what ever bogus charges they deem fit. In other words, I was learning a few lessons the very. VERY. Hard way. But anyways, with all that being said, I ended up telling the buyers for the second house that there was no way I was going to do another $2500 in repairs( which were brought up through the inspection process) so that they could get the type of loan they wanted. I mean for peets sake, the house was built in 1958.. there is no way I’m bringing every single thing up to code.. especially when I just sold a house two doors down last week with many of the same issues still existing. It’s not even that these items were major issues or safety hazards. They were just random new codes, that really weren’t necessary. So, I told them no. So that deal is off, which honestly is just fine with me. If I had proceeded with the sell, I would have gotten back to the States on Aug. 8^th, had to find a new place to live, move and close on the house on Aug. 15^th. So anyways.. I’ll hold out for another buyer and enjoy the perfectly lovely house that’s been fully remodeled in the mean time- I figure no need to loose money on a deal that only stresses me out to begin with- right?!

            Enter the craziest weekend ever. The first week in May I was running around like a crazy person. My parents were kind enough to realize I was fixing to break and offered to come up and help out with anything they could. Little did they know they were walking into a three page list, with assignments per each persons skill setJ So I had my dad putting a lock on the shed, fixing the dryer hook-up etc. and my mom, bless her heart, basically called herself my person assistant. She followed me around with the list of stuff, helped where she could and herded me in the general right direction. Sunday was mother’s day and we all went to church. I was so excited to have them go to the church I’ve been going to since last June. I.LOVE.IT.SO.MUCH. So to have them experience it too was just an awesome last outing.

            Oh. Wait. Speaking of church, how could I forget to add in what I did that Thursday night, Friday and Saturday morning. I went to a women’s conference at my church. Which was nothing less than blow your mind AMAZING. I could not have prepared my mind in a better way for the upcoming trip. I spent three days in worship and listening to powerful Godly women speak about learning to Fly. The theme throughout the conference was “ She stepped out on a limb and learned she could Fly.” How PERFECT was that for me?!! I loved every second, felt so rejuvenated and knew I with out a doubt that I was doing just that. I had stepped out on a limb a year ago. There was awhile that I felt like the baby bird that just leapt from the nest, with the small swoop downward. But do they ever completely fail. No. They learn to fly. The downward swoop arcs upward and then… there is flight. I’ve seriously been choked up multiple times this past week when I realize how unbelievably proud of myself I am. Is it conceded to say that? I don’t think so. If you can’t be proud of yourself, then why should others be proud of you? So yes, I’m proud. I took a leap and learned to fly.

            So, the conference was over, my parents helped me pull of the miracle of the century and get my shiznat together, got me on a jet plane and I was off! And boy oh boy, I was off in style! First class all the way Baby! My dear friend Sharon, most of you have heard me talk about her before. But quick summary of our friendship. I met her two years ago thru a free lance design project. She hired me to do a kitchen design and several other things since then. We were instant kindred spirits and she has been the absolute best mentor since then. We’ll be celebrating her 60^th birthday in August when I get back.. I CANT WAIT SHARON!! So anyways, she is retired from American Airlines and was kind enough to give me a buddy pass. It all depends on availability, but with here fab planning skills.. she got me in first class! Let’s be clear, I have not ever ever been in first class. And oh what a treat. I pretty much had my own cubicle area. We had a steak dinner, all the wine and champagne we wanted, chairs that swiveled and laid all the way back, our own tvs and fancy headsets, free movies, hot wet towels(I couldn’t ever figure out if they were for your hands or face) and then we had a very delightful breakfast before we landed. Considering I was going to be staying in hostels for the next three months.. it was quite the treat to go out in style! So Thank You THaNK YoU, THANK YOU Sharon! I love you dearly and I hope to see you in Rome <3

            On to London-Day 1: Wednesday May 11, 2011: I landed at Heathrow Airport around 12:30. I make my way just fine through the airport, get my luggage and find the train into town. Everything is in English so I’m in my comfort zone and able to navigate just fine. I got out at the wrong station and these two very nice attendants had there cell phones out in no time, made calls and had my route all figured out. As I got out (at the correct stop this time) I couldn’t help but immediately think that London was just like New York, but in an alternate universe British kind of way. The scale of the neighborhoods, the pace of the people, the markets, the traffic, level of cleanliness and of course the language. It was nice to feel so comfortable considering how nervous I was headed over. By the time I made it to hostel in Kennsington, it was nearly 3:30. My eyelids were extremely heavy at this point, so I laid down for a nap. Four hours later… I woke up. Oopsy daisy. So I gathered myself and walked north torwards Hyde Park. By the time I made it to the park I realized I was starving and that it would be dark soon. So I turned around and found a place to eat. This was my first British dining experience and was only a taste of the awful service that was to come. It was an Italian place, I sat outside on the sidewalk, ordered a margarita pizza and enjoyed watching the young Londoners outside across the street at the Pub. They all dress, so.. quirky. Cute, but definitely different. A lot of black, gray and dark in general. Luckily my food was good the first night, because the service was lacking to say the least. I finally had to walk in to pay my bill because he was pretty much MIA all together. I carried on and found an internet café. I stopped in, paid 4.5 Lbs( which is nearly $9) just so I could skype and email. Eh. Oh well. I went to bed around ten, as I knew I had a big day ahead of me!

            London- Day 2: Thursday May 12, 2011: I really hadn’t done much planning for any of my trip. So being this would be my first day of really touring around and getting into a tourist pace, I knew I had to put an itinerary together. At this point, I really could have used some of Amanda’s planning abilities!! So me being me. Where do I go first? That’s right people.. The absolute closet STARBUCKS I can find! My mind is just not functional until I’ve had at least one dose of caffeine. From there, I make my way to the ‘Tube” stop across the street, where the attendant greets me with the following message, “Are you sure you don’t want to come back a little later? Most of the tourist don’t make it out until around 9, so the tickets will be cheaper then.” Me,”Well what time is it then?” Attendant, “6:45” Golly gosh. You mean to tell me I woke up, showered, got coffee and made it here all by 6:45 AM?! I was shocked to say the least. So I bought the more expensive ticket and headed on to Westminster Abbey. I took a few pictures outside and then walked in. Unbeknownst to me, I was there right on time for morning prayer service. Of course I went. How majestical to sit inside Westminster Abbey, pray and listen to the very stoic and robed priest. I’ve never even sat through a Catholic service before, so this was very fascinating to me. But prayer is prayer to me, so I soaked in every once that I could. The service wrapped up and I walked around a bit, not allowed to take any pictures inside L but tried my best to enjoy all the royalty that still lingered in the air. From there I went towards Parliament and crossed the bridge to look back. As you cross the bridge, the London Eye ( the big ferris wheel) is directly to your left. It was kinda cool to be crossing the bridge with all of the regular morning commuters. They were all hussle bussle and I was lally gaggin across in complete aww of the icons around me. From there I turned around, crossed back across the same bridge and went north to St. James’ Park. I got some great pictures here and enjoyed a stroll through the park. As I got closer to the north end, I could here a very ominous drum. As I came to the bend in the trail, I saw to my left a brigade of soldiers practice their pacing. I’m sure there is an official term for their march, but they basically just walk back and forth to the beat of a drum.  I continued on to my left and came to Buckingham Palace. There is apparently a certain flag that flies where ever the Queen is present. No flag, so no queen at the casa. It was still quite majestic to be standing at the gates, where as an American, you see so many events and have such an association with the happenings of the UK. They were still taking down all the bleachers from the royal wedding that had happened only a week and a half earlier. I went to the Queens Gallary, which is right behind the palace. They advertised the royal jewels and treasures. So not paying attention, I got all excited thinking this was where The Royal Jewels were and paid my 15 pounds to get in. Ha, did they fool me. I paid what equated to around $28 to see some royal place settings, artwork and furniture. I mean cool and all, but I was severely disappointed to say the least when I didn’t get to see any of the real bling. My camera battery was low, because smart girl didn’t fully charge it the night before. Luckily I found an authentic Italian Café right around the corner, with three very Italian and very nice ladies working. They plugged in my battery and I sat down to enjoy my sandwhich. This is worth writing about only because I had never had anything like it before. It was just plain white bread. But the egg sandwhich consisted of hard boiled eggs, mashed together with mayo and put on like you would do tuna salad. Topped with crumbled bacon and mmm Mmm delicious! Batteries charged, breakfast had and the rest of my itinerary planned. I was off to Westminster Cathedral. There was a small minute when I second guessed myself that Westminster Abbey wasn’t what I thought and that it was the cathedral where the royal wedding had taken place. But upon my arrival, I was completely reassured this was not the case. The cathedral is nice, but not nearly the structure that the Abbey is. Anyways, after my blonde moment, I toured the cathedral and quickly moved on. I walked to Victoria Station, which is a very large hub in London. Hopped a train and headed further west down the Thames River to London Tower. My plan was to get to the far west end of the big sights and work my way back east along the river. London Tower is the original palace of London with multiple towers and surrounding walls that were added on over the course of hundreds of years. It was really cool to see the tower where those of the likes of Anne Boleyn were held and then beheaded. And then the most most most important part of my day. ThE. CroWn. JEWELS! Oh they were huge. Magnificent. And totally blinged out. I wish there was some sort of file in my brain that could store useful and factual information, but I somehow lack that part of the brain… so you’re going to have to deal with my own interpretation of events, icons, and artifacts. Such as bliged outJ But I know that the current “Royal Crown” was there at the end. Amazing!! I then learned that what I thought was “London Bridge” was actually “Tower Bridge”. I thought the bridge with the two towers and cables that sling from one to the other was London Bridge. Nope. That’s tower bridge and London Bridge is actually rather flat and uneventful. Anyhow, I saw both of those and continued on to Millennium Bridge. Which is a modern structure with large interesting arcs, and cables. Again, not a fact buff- so don’t judge me. I concluded my day at St. Paul’s Cathedral. Again, I couldn’t take pictures inside- so this was not to pleasing. But the all in all it really was a beautiful and massive Cathedral. I hiked my way back down some of the main boulevards in London, down the river and eventually back on the Tube. There came a point when I got back that I realized I hadn’t eaten anything all day and I was Staarving. You know the kind of hunger where you’re sure your stomach is eating itself. So I stop at another Italian place right outside the hostel. It was here that I was served, with not only more awful service than the night before, but I had the most wreched lasagna ever. It was so bad, that even after I had a few bites out of shear desperation for food, that I just couldn’t muster it any further and sat it to the side. I ate ever bite of bread that was on my table and then sat. And sat. And sat. Finally the girl came to check on me and I told her it was the most awful thing ever. Keep in mind, I am all sorts of hot and bothered by this point considering I was starving when I walked in the door. Now, after awful service and awful food.. I just want my ticket so I can leave. Minus my lacking dinner, my first day in London was jammed packed full of Amazingness. I was completely exhausted and passed out early again.

            London- Day 3: Friday May 13, 2011: Nearly Noon. I finally wake up. I knew I was tired but, noon? Really Amber? Oh well. I’m on vacation right?! There was another girl who was across the room from me who had just gotten in the night before who also was just waking up. Since it was just the two of us we were able to chat a little while.  She was Karla, from Germany. She was huge! Not fat. Just tall, thick and very German. (Hopefully, we won’t be face book friends, otherwise I will have to edit that part of this blog!) Anyways, she was a very nice girl and asked what I had planned for the day. I told her I had planned on renting a bike and riding through Hyde Park, Regents Park, by several monuments and then over to Notting Hill. She asked if she could join, so of course I said yes! We had breakfast, coffee and rented our bikes. The bike ride through Hyde Park and Regent Park was just delightful. I definitely prefer to see the town on bike. You get to see so much, but still get to be apart of the vibe and life that walking through the streets gives you. It was quite the daring thrill biking through the streets of London. Apparently, the cyclist ride along with the cars on the streets. Mostly in the bus lane. Ya. So you can only imagine this Texan on my cycle, as they call it. My agility was definitely tested that day. Other than the few near death experiences and the occasional blaring horn.. I got to see everything I had set out to. Minus Hugh Grant. I was sure he’d be sitting on the stoop in front of the blue door waiting to give me a wave hello. But, no.. he wasn’t. That night Karla I took the train back into the center of town and walked along the Thames. We had, yup.. you guessed it. Italian food. I’m not sure why I only ate Italian in London, but I did. Anyways, the food was much much better than the night before while the service was only incrementally better. The views made up for anything that lacked. The night sky was perfect and overall was the best way to end my last night in London.

            London- Day 4: Saturday May 14, 2011: I had to get up early because my train was leaving at 4:30 and there was a lot I still wanted to see. So I was up and at em’. Got my bags packed, stored and I was off to the Natural Science Museum. My good friend Melanie recommended this to me. She said it was unlike any museum she had ever been to and boy was she right. Fabulous Rec Mel Pod!! Oh my gosh, this place was ridiculous. Why this wasn’t on my architectural icon list, I have no idea. The place was so intricately carved, etched, blinged out, amazing! I think I took nearly 200 photos there alone. It was probably on my top two highlights of London, which is crazy considering I didn’t even know what I was in for. I walked two blocks west to the Queen Victoria and Albert Museum. It was quite the dessert for the eye as well, but after having gone and been knocked off my feet by the previous museum, I just wasn’t nearly excited. Don’t get me wrong it was quite stunning, it was just like eating a steak dinner after already having had Tres Leches first. Well, perhaps that’s not the same for you.. but you get the idea J From there I carried on down through the streets, stopped in at Harrods department store and ended my walk in

Sloan Square

. I figured Kate would be back from her honeymoon by now and moving out of her apartment and loading the moving van. Maybe I could “bump into her” on the streets, start chatting and become BFF. Ok, well it sounded like a plausible story right? Ok, well much to my surprise.. I didn’t bump into her:/ From there I hoofed it back to my hostel, sent my parents the email of the address to my next stop, grabbed my bags and headed to the EuroLine Train. The train itself wasn’t all that impressive. I guess I didn’t get on the fastest one, because it just didn’t seem nearly as quick as I expected. But it was still cool. It goes under the English Channel and then through the French countryside.

            And theeeen things. Changed--I got to France. And well, let’s just say…that the culture shock and every worst nightmare I had thought of prior to leaving (minus actually being stolen and sold into sex slavery) ya, well minus that.. everything happened.

Let’s play limbo!

Let’s play limbo!

Oh the game of limbo. You know, the one where you shimmy under stick while it gets lower and lower... until- well, you just can’t go any lower and you knock the stick off.

I feel like this describes my life perfectly.

     I’ve got so much running through my little head that I that I know at some point I’m going to knock my stick over. So what’s a girl to do? Do you keep on playing the game  and keep going lower until you knock the stick off … or do you hang back out knowing that your body just doesn’t bend that way and you’re liable to pull a hamstring?

     For instance, the second house I bought/ fixed up. I’ve had it on the market for two months now and have continually dropped the price. I thought I had it pretty close to sold at one point, only to have the deal fall through. But since then- nada. Plenty of lookers, tons of oohs and ahhs.. but no offers. I honestly can say, I hate this part of the game. Fixing up a property, being covered in paint and hanging off the side of the roof, yup. That’s where I’d rather be. I even enjoy real estate when it’s not my money on the line.. But having my personal money sunk into this house and having my summer plans at the mercy of the winds is driving me crazy. I’ve said all along I’m very glad I was able to do this house and it’s definitely something I’m proud of. But at this point, I’d rather have my money safely back in the bank, my bags packed and headed to Europe. I suppose this is a lesson in patience. Plus, there’s nothing I can really do about it other than wait for the right buyer.. I mean besides practically giving the house away. Of which, I do have a few Plan B’s in the works, but it’s just not quite the right time to share those with the world.

      So besides this whole house debacle.. which is really is just a side game to that actual full blown show thats playing out in life right now. Such as.. what the heck am I going to do with my life?!? I have to remind myself approximately 1374 times a day, that I’m on the “no plan Plan” and that I’ll know the right thing to do when the time comes. This is way of thinking and actually trying to stick it goes against every grain of my being. It in no way is natural for me to just ride the waves of life. One might choose to say its my control issues manifesting themselves through the need to control every aspect of my life. And well, I thought I was doing okay.. until well. You know.

   I think it’s an important lesson though, that perhaps I’m allowing myself to be taught. That is, that you truly are not in control of very much at all in life. You can be a great person, you can work hard, be faithful, be honest and kind, you can try to navigate life as you see fit. But in the end, there’s already a plan for your life that will force its way through all the other stuff you try to fill it with. Its my personal belief that your life has a meaning and a path its meant to fulfill. And even if you make decisions that lead you off course, you’ll be pulled back to where you were meant to be.

     I have a dear friend that has always been the absolute best sounding board. And a number of weeks back she said this “I just can’t allow myself to believe I have that much power to screw up my own life that badly. It would just freak me out and overwhelm me if I believed that.” I’ve thought about her statement a lot since then. I think it resonates with me so much because there have been a lot of regrets festering these last few months. And being able to think about your life in terms of not being able to screw it up too badly.. well I guess that even gives the 26 and divorced hope!

  

   So the game of limbo for me continues. And as far as sitting this round out... Heck no. I might very well come limping in with a pulled hamstring or completely unable to walk. But I figure as long as I can at least crawl, you’ve got no other choice than to keep on going. ( End cheesy analogy for today’s post )

Ps. I have a photo blog I’m working on. Believe it or not, I do actually get out and do things besides sit alone in my house and ponder where my life is heading J So I’m going to prove it with some photos from this past week.

Pps. It looks like I am making an impromptu road trip to Florida next week to help my friend move! So excited!! We are both putting some serious thought into applying to become Disney Princesses. I hear they have great benefits.

Its been awhile.

Its been awhile. ... and even worse I wrote this post on 3/10, I was just hoping I'd find the time to update my background before posting... I guess I'll get to that later:/

Excuses-à Well first of I’ll say hello my few fellow readers! I know its been over two months since my last post, but I did not mean for it to last that long. You see, my computer went on the fritz and I have been down and out of commission for nearly two months. Good ol’ faithful fired right up, but unfortunately she was just too old to handle blogging apparently. Every time I would try to navigate the blogging world it would freeze and give me an error message. So that’s that. Its been two months and I’ve got some catching up to do. ß

I guess there is a lot still the same. In the sense that I am still officially an unemployed citizen… and no, I’m not sitting around milking the system. I quit my job, so there are no unemployment benefits coming my way paying for the extended vacation I’m taking.. I’m just milking the money tree in my back yardJ Also known as my savings account. But in more recent days, I started substitute teaching. Which I will have to save my thoughts on our public school system for another post, but let’s just summarize with “disgusted”.  I’ve also been working on a few small design jobs. I also trained for and ran my 1^st 10K! And add in attending my nieces parties at preschool, trying to sell a few houses, attending Trivia Nights and outings with friends.. I am one very busy unemployed girl! Seriously, there are times I even surprise myself with how busy I manage to stay. Now, don’t let me get carried away. I do sleep plenty of days till 10 or 10:30, stay up until 1 or 2 just because my internal clock is off, occasionally forget what day of the week it is, have now watched the entire season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and well.. frankly hold out to do my shopping during the hours that are typically reserved for the retired and housewives.  But o-h what a pleasant shopping experience it is! I even find myself enjoying the grocery store and running errands. Ok, yes. Feel free to judge me.. I mean judge myself, but I certainly make no apologies for it. I can’t think of a better remedy for healing, both physically and emotionally, than just being able to check out of reality and allowing yourself some time to simply rest. It’s been truly a God given gift to me to be able to do this.

At some point along the way, I remembered what it felt like to be me again. I may be daring to put a time frame to it, but I would venture to say I have not felt like me for eh.. three years? In reference to my job, I can remember trying to explain myself as, “I moved here so strong, excited and passionate, but  felt like a wilting flower who was no longer getting the water needed to survive.” Cheesy? Yeah. But True? Yup. What I failed to realize or perhaps failed to admit was that the same simile applied to my personal life as well. Anyways… I just feel like I should put some perspective as to why I continue to skip down my current path, while many people think I’m just crazy or can’t understand what happened to the Amber they knew.

So on that note, one might ask. Well what’s next? What are your thoughts on 2011? Well… I’m not looking for full time employment because I don’t plan to be here to be employed. My big plan for 2011 is to spend a few months in Europe! I’m holding out and waiting for the summer season to roll around. But more importantly, I’m waiting for the second property I bought in October to sell. I’m just the main force trying to get it sold and can’t imagine leaving such an investment behind to just sit while I skip across the globe. But yeah… E-u-r-o-p-e HERE I COME! The great part is my trip is 110% completely flexible. I’m flying on a buddy pass and then I’m doing a hop-on hop-off bus tour. So the way it works is the bus makes 33 stops in 9 countries, basically all of western Europe. It stops at each location every other day. So you are free to stay in each location as long as you please and when you’re done- Just hop on the next bus to the next stop. It seems like a really great fit for me, being that I’ll be traveling alone and would definitely be the girl who ends up arriving in some strange city at midnight, unable to speak the language and would have forgotten to book a hotel. Yes, while I may be type-A about many things in my life.. I am a total free and careless spirit when it comes to traveling.  Also, another great plus with the bus tour is that you are likely to meet lots of “like minded travelers” along the way. They have an age range of like 18 to 35 or something like that, so you’re going to be in a group of people that you’re more likely to click with. So if you meet some people along the way, you can hang out with them for a few days/or weeks and when you’re done, you can carry about your trip at your own pace. I think it sounds thrilling and exciting to be able to meet people and travel in that capacity. And my thoughts and motives are this: I never in my wildest dream imagined I would have this window in my life of being single, uncommitted, financially capable and brave enough to seize the day. So I’m going to. More like, I have to take it by the horns and make the absolute most of every bit of it. I have the next 30+ years to work and make money. So why would I wait until retirement to be able to spend a few months abroad? So.. I’m doing it! Crazy-- Maybe? Thrilling—definitely!

My main objective during my traveling is A) The obvious: to enjoy the sites, food and architecture. But B) I want to experience the life of people in other cultures and put some fresh new perspective on my own life. I want to spend those last few months of my time off in reflection of the past and in preparation for the future. Be able to pull away from all the influences that surround me in my own slice of the world and be able to think clearly about what I want to be doing and where I want to be. I’ve been able to think and explore these ideas a lot over the past few months, but I think having time away from my own surroundings and spheres of influence will really allow me to fit the final pieces of this puzzle I’ve been working on.

I don’t know if anyone can truly grasp the culmination of my life last year. Life literally kick me off my rocker and shattered into a million pieces right before my eyes. So I’ve sulked, I’ve mourned, I’m recovering, I’m moving on… and all piece by piece. Day by day, I stitch back together the remnants of who I thought I was and who I have become. So here’s to the pieces of the puzzle being put back together. And here’s to Europe.  Cheers!

In Name of The Season

In the name of "The Season", I've let myself take a break.

Not the typical "Amber" kind of break when I create mountains of projects for myself to tackle. But a real person kind of break. I've been sitting around watching The Real Housewives of New York, teaching myself to cook, enjoying as many social outings as I please, staying up well past my usual 9:30 bedtime, aimlessly browsing the internet for some great sale or vacation plans to jump out at me and taking many long wonderful nappy noodles!

I'm starting to feel something coming though. I've got quite a few things cookin' for 2011, but a few things have to fall into place before I can share my plans with the world. A few people know bits and pieces, but the grande plans are still a little gray.

In keeping with the fact that this is my blog about my new adventures in life... I wanted to have a few words with myself. Perhaps it works more along the lines of.. if I lay out my guidelines for the world to read, then I'm somehow become even more committed than I already am? I know this sounds kinda weird, but I think thats partially how I stay strong.

---->Insert random, but pertinent side bar. My sister and I were in the car today and I told her I kinda had plans tonight. But not real plans, just the kind where two people will possibly hangout. These plans were discussed a week ago, but not really ever confirmed. Okay, so its about 5:30, I look like a hot mess and have not contacted the person as to which I may or may not have plans with. Honestly, I just don't feel like being a part of the real world today. It was a day full of sewing, The Housewives, leftovers from last nights' great meal and a 3 hour nap. So I was planning on bailing out anyways.. That's right, my life is tough these days. Okay so back to the point of this side bar. As I'm telling my sister about these half hearted plans, she some how magically morphs into my dad from when I was in highschool. "No, you will not be going to see this person. If they havn't contacted you by now then they are not our kind of people." Me-"But Amy, these weren't real plans, not like a date, just like we might hang out." Amy-"No. If you hangout long enough you might like this person and I can tell already if they haven't called then you don't need to be hanging out." Okay seriously, on what planet is my sister from? I'll tell you.. The planet of the Sollock's. Where we were not allowed to do anything that was not properly planned by Wednesday for the following weekend. Me-" Amy, I'm just interested in hanging out and being entertained. Nothing more." Amy-"We can hang out,  but you don't need to be hanging out with this person." Ok, so perhaps this sisterly saga seems slightly blown out of proportion.. of which yes, my sister has the nack for doing so. But the truth is, she’s My Person these days. She knows my plans/wants/needs and has promised to be loud and clear this time around with her opinions. So the pertinence to this story is, when someone else knows what you want- They are likely to keep you in check even when you may not see what’s really going on. <-------- End Side Bar.

2 days have gone by. Its now Wednesday night.

So, in the name of the season I've taken a break. Its been Greeeat!
Truly a time to sit back and focus on what and where I R-E-A-L-L-Y WANT to be and be doing in my life. I've always had this checklist in life. It went, design and make my own pink fluffy prom dress, get degree in architecture, live in NYC, build and decorate beautiful house, own my own residential design/ build empire, marry a wonderful man and raise 2 or 4 curly haired babies. Ok. So check, check, check and check. That’s four checks. And I'm left at own my own residential design and construction empire. I always envisioned getting married and starting my company in my early 30's. So what the heck am I suppose to do in my 20s?

It seems to me, the 20s are a decade that our generation is the first to navigate in a different way than all of those before us. For the most part, our parents and grandparents either went to college, joined the service or immediately started working after high school. That took them to about the age of 22 or 23 at which time they married and immediately started having children. Now I know this still happens for a lot of people. But there’s an ever expanding population that believes 30 is the new 20. I happen to be apart of that generation. Ok, so if 30 is the new 20- and me and all most of my friends aren't married and making babies- then what are we suppose to be doing with all these years? I've lived a lot in these past few years, but I'm just not so into the crazy club scene anymore. I still thoroughly enjoy an adult beverage or 4, but there’s no lying... I'm certainly not 21 years old anymore. I will most definitely be paying the price of drinking the next day. So, while I do have my fair share of fun- its just not my biggest objective in life.

And well, you've already kinda gotten the previous job and current career situation... So what's a 26 year old girl to do? Just get a new job, work everyday, wait anxiously for the weekend, wait patiently for the man of my dreams- bla bla bla.. Are you seeing the picture here? How much "fun" can you have before you can say you've checked that box? DONT get me wrong, I think I'm plenty of fun and fully believe laughing and having fun is one of life’s keys to success. But why should I spend these years of my life working, "waiting" and drinking too much?

So I choose to do things differently. I choose to take a chance and try to push my dream job forward a few years. I choose to put myself in a position to go out and see some of the world. I choose to focus on and grow my own spiritual beliefs. No longer just say that's what I believe just because of whatever people say, but to really dig deep and develop a real foundation of which to build my future on. I choose to push myself to try new things in life and enjoy those of which I know I love.

Ya ya ya. This may seem lofty, but can honestly say.. I can't think of too many people I know that are willing to put themselves out there like I'm committed to doing. Most just focus on the grind of their job. The thrill of the weekend. The angst of waiting for The One to come along. Seeking that promotion. Going to grad school. Saving for their next big buy. Bla. Bla. Bla. I'm over it all.

I'm moving forward in bigger ways than I ever imagined myself doing. During the years in my life that I didn't know what I was suppose to be doing with... Well, I'm just carving out a new direction for myself.

Insert 12/23/10 12:08 Central- I signed on to FB and saw this posted on my my news feed.. too perfect! It look like I'll have some new reading to do as I wrap up my "break" http://www.npr.org/2010/12/23/132214529/three-books-to-quell-your-quarter-life-crisis

All in a Day's Work

All in a days work.

It’s a funny thing that work. I suppose it’s a prerequisite to money- of which money is a requirement to survive in today’s world. But with all my new found free time and in all my efforts to refuel my soul- I find myself focusing a lot on what my new "work" shall be. My little mind gets flooded with multiple vivid vignettes when I start to think about it. So I thought I'd break them down into segments, ramble through my thoughts and see where I land.

Let's lay the playing cards out on the table. I am a classic overachiever. I've spent my entire life outdoing some imaginative competitor that lives in a small cloud just above my left ear. She's a loud and feisty one, this competitor. She eggs me on, makes me go to the Nth degree and quite often loose sight of what I may truly want at the end of the day. It's necessary to explain this so that new friends out there don't think they stumbled into the words of a complete free style hippie spirited gal. Nope. I believe in work. Hard work. Earning what you've been given. And pushing through to get a job done.
  So to flip the coin, because you know there are always two sides to a story. Why would I quit my great job? Especially in this economy?! Amber, Are you K-k-krazy? Perhaps. But truth is, there just wasn't anything left. The reserves were gone, tapped out, end of the road, hit the flashing green button and please try again later. Key Word- Later. There's a myriad of reasons, none of which are important for this ramble, but I just knew I had to sit back for awhile and take a break. Okay well, that probably about as hippie free spirit as I'm gonna get.. because guess what. Within one week, I went out and made the investment of my short little life time! Well, kinda. I'd purchased and remodeled my own home three years prior, but this was the first time I put a sizable amount of my own green on the table for an investment property. And why? The smart kid in the room would guess that I was obviously doing it because I had researched and found the perfect deal with a sizable return that would be plenty comparable to my previous real job. Ha. You couldn't be more wrong. I made the deal because I knew I should. It was the absolute first thing in a very loooong long time that made me jump with excitement. Ya ya, I've been excited about the couch I recovered, the dream wedding I planned or the man in my previous life... But let's get this straight. A person's work or the way I think about it- A person's passion gives a return of immeasurable fuel that can propel even the darkest of souls or dare I say our great county out of our darkest of funks. Get it- Its passion- its the American dream- its freedom to do what you want just because you can- its an energy that very often creates revenue- its energy that drives me and you- its the energy we all search for, even as a country its what we're looking for. (Insert, I just think its humorous that when a war didn't pull us out that we resorted to spending as our obvious solution) But come on people, I hate to make a comparison to such great magnitudes, but I am passionate about building, designing and more than anything working. And I think its just kinda cool that me, a not so very politically savvy product of the American school system still "gets" the idea of where we came from.
  -Its passion: Passion to me is the feeling I get when I can't help but clinch my fists, bend my elbows and pump my fist one stiff time with a "heck ya" screaming in my mind.
  -Its the American dream: The beautiful thing about the American dream is the many shapes it takes across our country and homes. But to me, a construction brat, the girl whos grown up on a construction site and bared witness to what it means to work. The American dream is the beautiful synchronized march of the rod busters as they bend down as a group and with one fail swoop carry their load of rebar across the frozen deck. They walk to the same cadence. The drop with the same pace. All done with such ease that the girl who also grew up watching The Nutcracker Ballet, had never seen such grace. They are some of the hardest working Americans I've ever known; only the real men cut it out there. The pay wasn't extraordinary, the hours were never stellar, but they were paving a street(sometimes literally) but a figurative street to a new life for them and their families. It's their spirit that resonates with me the strongest when I sit back and think of the American Dream. 
  -Its freedom to do what you want just because you can: This one has never meant to me as much to me as it does today. I will state it simply and you can feel free to interpret as you will. I don't think you or I have ever understood the freedom in our choices until it is taken away. Until you can no longer do as you want. Until your decisions are no longer based on what is good for yours and your families' well being. For me, this is a new concept.. the freedom to do what  you want just because you can.
  - Its an energy that often creates revenue: I left my very stable and well paid job- well for nothing to be quite honest. I didn't have something lined up a few weeks out. I didn't plan on looking immediately. And well quite frankly I thought I'd end up working at Starbucks or Niemen’s. There was by far not a plan in sight, but there was plenty of trust. Trust in myself. Knowing that I had the kind of energy that boiled over top of the ordinary containers of life. Knowing that my gut would not lead me to starvation (feel free to insert a small chuckle at the thought of my gut starving.. I sure know I'm smiling as I write this) But all in all, I knew without a shadow of doubt that I believed in a God that was molding me for bigger and greater things to come. I knew then and I know it today. In the interim, I'm just chillin out being pliable. Enjoying the options and awaiting the revenue of life.
  -Its P p passION! I'm going to be quite honest at this point. There was a period of years there for me that I some how forgot what it was like to indulge your passion for life. Perhaps it odd that I'm a mere 26 and say that with pure heart ache and truth. But what a lesson to learn so early on in life. I've spent a great deal of time analyzing where I let it slip away through the tips of my fingers, but believe you me.. it will not happen again.

  Okay so work. I know this has turned into quite the rambling escapade. Believe me, I know. It took me two sittings just to get through this one. .. I can only imagine how much time the serious bloggers put in. I mean, I'm unemployed and do as I please- how do these super moms out there track there babies' every step via their baby blog all in the names of friends and family?! I've been reading several friends blogs for years, but now that I've actually hit the key board.. I've got no idea how real people find the time?!
  But back to work. As excruciating as this was for some of you to read this far down the page. This is only the beginning of my thoughts on the subject of work. While some may have an image in their minds that I am super career women, what if I told you that I believe my greatest work will be in a role I haven't even began to dabble in. Hmm.. Food for thought.

But thoughts for another blog.

The Day Has Come

The day has come;  well it came yesterday that is.

First of all, welcome family and friends! This is the first official post to my new blog of which is intended to be shared with my family and friends. I've been all over the map, but mostly off everyone's radar.. so I thought it was time take the public plunge and throw it all out there. If you're a nay-sayer or find yourself rolling your eyes at yet another "blogger" than please feel free to make your way to the top right hand corner of this screen and click the friendly "x" button. Because this is "Auntie Amber - Blog Time", as my niece KK would say. (I can't wait to share this particular story created by the funniest mini-human I know) Anyhoo, I'm a rambler, not a great speller and while I made A's- grammar is not my deal. So please let's not judge.

Welcome Greeting- Check
Blog Room Business- Check

First Blog- So I'm sitting in church yesterday and the pastor is talking about waiting for 2010 to be over. And oh how a loud clap rang out from the second to the last row of the balcony seating (yup , that where I sit since I can't ever make it on time) Ooo how I clapped, nodded my head and said a silent amen! For those who don't personally know me, I will share more at a later date- but its just too much of a story and actually isn't the reason for today's intro. post.
  So I've got that giddy school girl smirk I seem to carry these days, I'm clapping my hands and before he could make it too far into the next sentence- it hit me. I'm already there. Well not in the sense that the calendar year of 2010 is over for me, but man 2010 is o-v-e-r for me! How, what, when, what the heck am I talking about.
  At this point let me finish the story of yesterday's message, of course he went on to talk about there are no guarantees that 2011 will be any better and that we must rejoice in the times of where we are. I'm pretty sure he wrote the message for me. I mean forget the several thousands of other people that received the message- nope this one was certainly for me. I mean how else would my mind have concluded such things and already "got it" before he could even begin his talk? Needless to say, I was all ears on deck. And wheew.. it was a good one. My mind was racing faster than it has.. well in a good long while that is! There are several things that I left with yesterday, of which I'd love to share later, but for today I'm going to focus on one-

2010 is over for me. I have made it to the other side and I am magically blissfully happy. My dignity is in tact. My heart no longer races and feels like its going to explode. I'll shed a few sad tears after a few cocktails with the girls, but hold that horse- The tears I cried yesterday were pure- thankful- and joyful tears. 

It wasn't too long ago I was overwhelmed with emotion, couldn't get out of bed and found myself without two legs to stand on. I felt like I was knocked unconscious and being dragged out of the party by those who cared. My legs of life didn't seem to work anymore, much less have any clue as to where they would be headed. In my secret blog I've kept about marriage and divorce, I concluded September 18, 2010 with this. "Oh the day (of peace)- I know you'll be here soon." Knowing the day would come has been my sole motivation to put one foot in front of the other and walk blindly into a world I no longer recognized.
  It's been three months since I wrote that. In that time I've signed the final papers, I've quit my job, I've bought an investment property, I've sat in my robe until noon many days, I've played countless hours with my niece, I've joined a women's group at my church, I've danced my heart out, I've found solace in total strangers, but more than anything I've never believed so much in a God so good and the blessings he has for those who are faithful. I come from a tight circle of Christians, Jews and atheist- so lets not all start to run because I mention God.
  But instead hear a story of when my house fell silent and I could no longer make it on my own, I prayed. I pray a lot these days. I am by far not a perfect anything, but geesh- if I had not prayed and continued praying I don't know I could have gotten where I am so soon. Yesterday's realization that 2010 was already over simple because of my own ability to recognize that I was truly happy again- what an "Ah ha" moment as Oprah would say. Ok yes, if you want to run at the mention of Oprah than more power to ya! But in all seriousness, I realized for the first time yesterday as I was gleefully clapping for 2010 to be over- that I was actually rejoicefully clapping because I'm just straight up rejoiceful these days. I'm happy. I'm excited. I know what my new goals are. I've got some freakin' exciting things on my horizon. And gosh darn, I didn't even realize they were happening! I'm typing with such enthusiasm right now. Shaking my head in disbelief and wishing I were a better writer so that I could properly convey my excitement.
  I know there will be glimpses of sadness ahead. I know there are still uncertainties in my life. But by golly gosh darn- I have A-R-R-I-V-E-D and is just too sweet not to share.

The day has come, it was yesterday for me. And guess what, I've got today. And then... I've got tomorrow too! Oh what life.